World Suicide Prevention Day 2025: What I’ve Learned Living With Loss
- genesis ali
- Sep 10
- 4 min read
The Day My World Split in Two
More than a decade ago, I lost two of the most important people in my life — my mother, Catherine Mhlaba, and my brother BK. To write that out still makes my chest tighten.
The world moved on, as it always does, but I didn’t. I had to learn to carry the grief, the questions, and the silence that followed. People often ask me:
“Does it get easier?”
Here’s the truth I’ve learned: No, it doesn’t get easier. But it does get better.
Grief doesn’t vanish; it reshapes you. You grow around it. The wound softens, but it never really closes.
Living on Both Sides of the Struggle
This isn’t just about what I lost. I’ve walked on the other side too.
I’ve had my own moments of suicidal thinking. Times when life felt too heavy, when my thoughts got stuck on repeat, circling darker and darker.
Here’s how I’ve come to understand it:Suicidal thoughts aren’t just sadness. They’re what happens when you stay too long in a negative mental space, hopelessness, shame, isolation, until it becomes corrosive to your health.
That’s when the idea of not being here anymore creeps in.
It’s not weakness. It’s not selfishness. It’s a signal: the system is overloaded.
The Question That Haunted Me
After my mum and brother died, one question followed me everywhere and I was asked frequently:
“Did you know? Could you have done something?”
That’s the question most survivors live with. It suggests that prevention is simple — that if you’d just said
the right thing, done the right thing, or shown up in the right way, you could have changed the outcome.
The truth? It’s not that simple. Sometimes, once someone has reached that point of crisis, it’s like a locked door.
That doesn’t mean we stop trying. It means the most powerful, and often the only thing, we can do is be there — wholeheartedly, without judgement, without agenda. Just present.
What Helped Me Most (It Wasn’t What I Expected)
Here’s what surprised me: the things that helped me in my darkest moments weren’t always deep conversations or professional interventions.
It was:
A stranger in the gym saying, “You’re smashing it today, bro.”
A mate dropping me a random “thinking of you” text.
Someone sitting in silence beside me instead of forcing me to talk.
Those tiny human moments reminded me that I was seen. And often, that’s all we want when we’re low, to be noticed, to matter, to exist in someone else’s awareness.
Prevention Beyond the Surface-Level Tips
We’ve all heard the basics: talk to someone, seek therapy, get help. All valid. But let’s go deeper.
Here’s a Nutri Guy toolkit — practical, lived, and science-backed. Its all about 1% better every day.
💡 Behaviour Change That Sticks
Tiny steps: Break the impossible into possible. “If I wake up low, I’ll boil the kettle and text one person ‘hi.’”
Habit stacking: Add one small positive action to an existing routine. After brushing my teeth → write one thing I’m grateful for.
The 8-minute rule: When someone’s in crisis, give them 8 minutes of undivided attention. Research and campaigns show that a short, focused check-in can interrupt the spiral.
🥗 Nutrition for Mental Resilience
Food won’t cure suicidal thoughts. But when you fuel the body, the mind has more bandwidth to cope.
Steady energy: Protein + complex carbs = stable blood sugar, fewer mood crashes.
Brain fats: Omega-3s (oily fish, chia, walnuts) are linked to better mood regulation.
Micronutrient support: B-vitamins, magnesium (leafy greens, nuts, seeds), and vitamin D (sunlight or supplements) all support mental health.
💬 Language That Heals, Not Hurts
Words matter. Some communities use “unaliving” instead of “suicide” to soften the impact. Whatever term you use, be gentle. Instead of asking “Why would you do that?” try: “Are you safe right now?”
Stigma silences. Curiosity and compassion open doors.
Gratitude, Kindness & Slowing Down
Gratitude became one of my lifelines. Not the fake “be positive” kind — the simple act of noticing:
3 things I can hear.
2 things I can see.
1 thing I’m grateful for.
It slows the spiral. It reminds me I’m still here.
Also writing down 10 things you are grateful for every morning was a game changer for me.
And kindness? That’s my prescription.👉🏽 One random act of kindness every day.A compliment. A text. A smile. You have no idea how much it might matter to the person on the other side.
My Controversial but Honest Truth
I tried everything with my mother, listening, advising, tough love, endless patience.
It wasn’t enough.That truth broke me for years. But here’s what I know now: our job isn’t always to save people. Our job is to see them, hear them, and walk with them so they don’t feel alone. Sometimes that’s all we can do. And sometimes, it’s enough.
A Challenge For You (And Me)
On this World Suicide Prevention Day, I invite you to join me in three small steps:
Kindness: Do one random act of kindness every day for the next 7 days.
If-then plan: Create a small action for low days: “If I feel low, I will message one person.”
One minute of noticing: Pause. Breathe. Name 3 things you hear, 2 you see, 1 you’re grateful for.
Small actions. Big ripple effects.
If You’re Struggling Right Now
Please don’t hold it alone.
In the UK & ROI: Call Samaritans at 116 123 (free, 24/7).
Elsewhere: look up your local crisis line or call emergency services if you’re in immediate danger.
Final Thought
Losing my mum and brother to suicide didn’t make me stronger. It made me more present.
So here’s my message today: slow down, be kind, and see people — especially when they’re hardest to see.
Your single act of kindness might not feel like much. But it could be the thing that keeps someone here a little longer.
And that matters.
📌 References:
WHO: Suicide is a leading cause of death globally, with over 700,000 deaths each year.
ONS & Samaritans: Latest UK suicide statistics and helpline data.
Research: Social connectedness significantly reduces suicide risk; small interventions (like check-ins) have measurable impact.
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